Saturday, January 16, 2010

Increase Your Chances for LOVE on Valentine's Day

Our only mission in life is to make ourselves happy by giving, receiving and being love. The way to accomplish this is by taking actions that support a strong core self-image.

When we feel unloved, unworthy, flawed or fearful it affects our moods and our relationships. We distance ourselves from others in an effort to protect ourselves from getting hurt,
mistakenly believing that everyone can see the faults we are desperately trying to hide. Thus, we set ourselves up for rejection and constantly live in a state of loneliness, isolation, depression and hopeless despair. Happiness becomes a happenstance of fate while the desire to rise above it remains an endless, aching struggle that many people never win.

Low self-esteem causes us to consistently devalue ourselves in relationship with others. We also fail to set up healthy boundaries while shutting down our own interests, believing our opinions, knowledge and experiences are unimportant. When people appear to be interested in our friendship we find ways to push them away. Or, in an effort to boost our own egos we expose the flaws of others and reject them as unworthy of our friendship. In truth, we actually become a liability to our family, children, friends and romantic partners because it is extremely draining for others to stay positive and motivated around someone who is chronically depressed and devalues himself.

How long do you want to engage in conversation with someone who is negative and withdrawn? Without communication, openness and a mutual exchange of good feelings, intimacy and bonding go right down the drain. Thus, our personal lack of self-esteem isn’t just about us; it affects the ones we love, people we want to love, and everyone with whom we associate.

Loss of happiness, inhibited self-expression and a de-energized life also stem from low self-esteem and lack of self-love. Let’s face it, when we stop believing in ourselves and our own value, how can we make a beneficial difference in the lives of others? It becomes very difficult to see and fulfill our life’s purpose when we believe we don’t matter. We lose sight of our magnificence and forget that we all have special qualities, talents and gifts that can benefit someone who needs what we have to offer.

In order to elevate our intentions and focus our attention on the contributions we can make to others, we must first take our focus off our own needs, faults, challenges and concerns and believe we have value to give to the world. Our thoughts need to shift from personal pettiness to achievements of significance, whether directed towards one, a few, or the masses. We need to befriend ourselves so we can hold our hands out to the world in a sincere offering of our time, talents, love and friendship.

Good friendships, relationships and love partnerships are precious and beautiful because within them can be found that lasting source of happiness and love we all seek. Poor, dysfunctional relationships cause the deterioration of our mental and emotional health, which in turn translates into a breakdown of the physical body and the onset of dis-ease. Ultimately, happiness is an inside job and our level of self-esteem is directly proportionate to the degree we show up in relationship with ourselves. Failure to love ourselves is at the root of nearly all physical problems and ALL failed relationships.

Increased self-esteem leads to improved health through a decrease in detrimental fight/flight stress hormones, thus empowering us to act rather than react to the situations and people in our lives. When our self-worth is high we feel safe being open, honest and authentic with others. Communication improves, allowing us to become more intimate and receptive to people, ideas and experiences, with positivity and an overall feeling of joyful well-being.

There’s no trick or special skills required to raise your levels of self-worth and self-esteem. It simply takes dedicated, persistent practice to think, feel and act from a heart-centered place of knowing you matter to YOU and to the collective whole of the human race.

I've diligently tested 24 strategies that are extremely effective in moving you into a heart-centered place of love and happiness IF you make them part of your daily routine. It’s a great first-step to read self-help suggestions, but it’s only through the implementation and practice through intention and action that will bring about the changes you desire.

From now until Valentine's Day I'm going to be posting one strategy per day to help everyone make this month and next, the most love-filled time of your life!

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