Monday, March 28, 2016

4 Tips to Recognize Con Men on Dating Sites

Con men create stories that match your lifestyle. They find out all about you then create a complementary story and persona that would attract you and keep you coming back. They often have one or 2 adult kids off in university, they own a prosperous business, have nice homes, expensive cars, travel to exotic lands on business trips and all the trappings of wealth.  They dress for success. Their cons are longer than ever before, depending on how much time it takes to win your trust. It could be a few months to a few years.

Scam artists choose their victims very carefully. They only want people who will believe in them without question. And why shouldn’t you believe some guy who talks about his business, his dog and his kids? Isn’t that what divorced or widowed dad’s talk about to a new dating prospect? Perfectly normal. Then the dog gets sick and he needs help with vet bills because the disease is rare or the cure requires lengthy treatment. Or it could be his kid that gets sick, or suddenly there’s a temporary glitch in his business and he wants to borrow some money. But he is willing to repay you twice as much as you loaned him in the first place. Money you will never see again. Oh, but they borrow a little money and pay it back at the first to develop trust for the bigger con that’s coming.

Con artists seek out the needy. They look for a woman who has an unfulfilled desire – a desire that maybe she doesn’t even know about. Then they dangle the fulfillment carrot in your face and make you come after it.  It doesn’t matter what qualities or characteristics you have as a woman, con men sniff out what they can exploit and manipulate to their advantage. If you are a loving person, he will use that. If you are strong and proud, he will use that.

Right from the start the con artist has the advantage. Why? Because he knows exactly what his intentions are and what he is doing and you don’t. You assume he is interested in a loving relationship. He’s not so don’t fool yourself. He is following a script, that has probably been successful for him in the past and you are just being you. All control is totally taken away from you right at the beginning. You are at a disadvantage from the get-go. So don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed about falling into his trap. It was set to take you down with your very first response to him. They set it up so all you can do is react to their cues.

Use your wisdom and listen to your intuition. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t second guess yourself. Slam the door in his face, block him and report him immediately.

Red Flag Signs to Watch For:

  1.  Con men don’t want to stand out so they look like your average guy.
  2. When con men meet you in person they persuade you to let them use your computer or iPhone. They instantly have access to all your personal financial data and logins. 
  3. Some sort of disaster always strikes in their life for which they require money from you.
  4. Con men look for women in their 50’s and 60’s who are divorced or widowed and feel like they are past their prime. They flatter and complement the women, playing on their vulnerability. 

The only sure way to eliminate con men from your life is to change your energy. Clear up the areas inside yourself that you feel can only be fulfilled from the outside, like the need for a partner, or someone to tell you how beautiful you are. Don’t give your trust away so easily and always, ALWAYS trust those tiny twinges inside that makes you go, “hmmmm….”

If you liked this post, please share it with your friends, your mom and your daughters so they won’t get scammed.

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