Saturday, May 7, 2016

The Man on the Subway

Sometimes we look at people and only see the ‘bad’ part….the part that gets us angry and causes us to point fingers and justify our attitudes and actions because we don’t agree with their methods or lifestyle. If we could all stop blaming, judging and complaining for just 7 days the results we see in our physical reality would be so much different. The whole world doesn’t need to change in order for your life to be happier or different; it only takes you. Jesus told parables to get people to look inside their own hearts before pointing fingers at someone else's wrong doings.

I’ve read about monasteries where the monks have to look inside themselves before they can complain about another monk. They have to heal the issue inside themselves that they are about to blame someone else for. Sometimes it takes years of healing before that monk is able to point out someone else’s flaws. So before you judge another, find the mirror inside yourself that is reflecting back what you are seeing in the other person.  And don’t just give it a passing glance. Look deep at your own attitudes and beliefs before judging someone else for their behavior.

I remember reading a story years ago about a man on a subway who let his kids run wild. He just sat there and didn’t say anything or do anything to correct their behavior or calm them down. The people around him were clucking their tongues and wagging their fingers, leaning over to the person beside them to say what a bad parent this man must be. Their thoughts created their emotions and their emotions triggered their actions. 

When I was reading the article I had my own judgments! Why isn’t he doing anything? Doesn’t he know his kids are disturbing others and that it’s not proper civilized behavior to be exhibiting in public? I had all the judgments too. I continued reading the article to discover that his wife had just died and he and his kids had just come from the funeral. Then I cried. Tears still well up when I think about it. How dare I judge someone I know nothing about. From that point on I stopped making assumptions about anyone or anything.

It’s difficult to accept someone else’s beliefs and actions when they are in contrast with our own. But wouldn’t the world be a dull place indeed if we only had one point of view? 
Nancy Murdoch is an artist, author of 3 books and a licensed HeartMath Stress –Busting coach.

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